I gave up perfection a couple of years ago—now I just try to be myself. Being myself does not include a perfectly clean house or matching stemware. When I got married, I registered for a full set of China, beautiful crystal, and a silver pattern. A couple of years ago I realized that I needed a butler just to keep up with the lifestyle to which I was aspiring based on the contents of my China cabinet. Downton Abbey taught me that.
I’m not sure I would have come to that conclusion, if I hadn’t gotten overwhelmed with the amount of work it takes to acquire and maintain a full set of china cabinet goodies and frustrated by my inability to keep up with it all. That’s when I gave up trying. I realized that I was never going to have a butler, and I didn’t even really want one. Even with all the money in the world, I would not choose that lifestyle — or staff. Maybe it’s a lack of imagination, or maybe I’m just no longer interested in impressing strangers.
When you have “too much” stuff, on the counters, table, in the cupboards, on the bookshelf, in the linen closet, attic and basement, you cannot think clearly. All of that stuff is unconsciously asking for your attention, especially when it’s spilling out of its containers. A pile of magazines and books on the counter beg you to read them and makes you feels guilty when you don’t. A stack of filing nags you every time you walk by. The problem with these unresolved items is that when you postpone dealing with this stuff, a part of your brain is still working on the “problem” of your piles. This is why you get overwhelmed—trying to consciously work on one problem while this other problem works in the background of your brain. A famous colleague of mine said that “clutter is postponed decisions.” So you can see how it takes up some of your cognitive processing and space in your brain. I can no longer afford to rent my brain like that. I want to leave plenty of room for the things that bring me joy.
Given that you have a choice as to how you want to spend your life, I encourage you to take a look at what you have and think about how it does or does not contribute to the life that you want. A good example of this is books. I LOVE to read, however, at this point, I will NOT reread all the books I have, and I want to leave enough room in my home to allow other books to come into my life. That means that I try to keep my collection down to a 100 books. I figured that is enough for the rest of my life and enough to dust, especially if it’s me, not my butler doing the dusting. By limiting myself to a number which works for me, I have freed myself to find new books in my life and not get bogged down by my history.
So now strangers may think that I am not perfectly equipped to host social gatherings, given my diminished China, but frankly, my friends don’t care—they just want to know if I have a clean glass for the great cheap wine they just found in the Wine Spectator, and I agree. Here’s to us — cheers!
Strategies for Getting Organized:
- Make time to get organize
- Weed out what no longer serves you
- Recycle or donate, if you have the energy
- Contain what you keep
- Repeat
If all else fails, call a professional—friends and relatives are too harsh.
Thanks, Andrea, You’re an inspiration! So interesting to consider 100 books and which those will be.
Glad I didn’t scare you! True confession: just found 2 boxes of books I packed before our reconstruction… have some homework myself!
Thanks, Andrea…Some excellent suggestions. I have actually just started on my One closet and have found 3 bags to donate. Most are clothes from the 80’s perhaps an antique dress store would take them 🙂
Thanks Karen- are they antique or vintage? You however, are a treasure- thanks for the feedback.